The last post I wrote reflected on traditions mostly. I am sure some of you want the year update and a most traditional idea of what we have all been up to. Anyone who has been following my blog might have realized that I have not been posting every week or even once a month. Where have I been hiding?
The new year 2013 began slightly rocky as I lost my father and I am still in recovery mode. I also gave birth to Isaiah a few months later adding some joy in all the grief. Isaiah is a great addition to our family. Even though I have no blood relation to my father, there are traits in Isaiah that remind me of my dad. He has piercing grey blue eyes. Yes all babies have blue eyes, well not all of mine. Isaiah is the second baby with blue eyes in our six. He has a wispy curl framing his face a lot like my dad as well. Then their is Isaiah's don't quit personality. This kid is trying to walk along the furniture at seven months old and I am sure he will be rock climbing by one.
Bria has beautiful curly hair. I used to want curly blond hair when I was little and I would say Bria's curls are exactly what I pictured minus the hair color. As baby number five, Bria has a strong personality and we are enjoying some of the ways it plays out. She will sing for hours, just as many of our kids did. She love to try and keep up with all the other siblings. This one will not be left behind and sometimes I forget she is only two.
Charis is silent, but very accomplished. She practically potty trained herself and she does not make a show of it. She is the child people say they might forget because she is so quiet. Quiet she is, but she also uses this quiet energy to build inventions and tenderly care for her dolls.
Dominic and the most outgoing child. He expects all strangers to smile back at him as he bothered to notice them. He just loves people. Trains, car, planes, and trucks are some of Dominic's favorite toys. He loves to run around when he can get away with it and is full of energy.
Ellie is born for the stage. She just wowed us in her first solo for her school play and she does not seem to be afraid to shine in public at all. Sometimes I feel like I am looking at a more fearless version of me. This is the child who wants to do everything perfectly and most of the time does.
Joel continues to be quiet and shy, but he is great at conversations too. He loves to talk about his school adventures and ask a million questions. I have a hard time keeping up with every topic that interests him. He is also my pro helper with baby Isaiah and keeps asking for another baby.
Tim just got a job as the Branch manager for US Bank in Quilcene. Up until a few weeks ago we were planning on packing our bags for southern CA, but things changed quite quickly. So if you are in the NW, that is were we continue to live.
I am still a stay at home mommy, but I did start a small home business called RubyRumps. I sew cloth diapers, wipes, reusable bags, and we'll see what the new year holds. I still long to see a book published someday, but right now I am enjoying my family and it keeps me very busy.
These are just a few highlights of the year. I hope everyone is having a Merry Christmas.
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Saturday, December 21, 2013
A Very Ruybalid Christmas
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| The kids decorated the tree mostly themselves this year! |
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| My oldest son took this picture |
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| We always cut our own tree, this year our tree is small and my son Joel is still asking if we can get a better one next year | . |
This year I did actually get around to making Christmas cards, but we did not write a letter. In my family the letter is just a much a part of the Christmas card tradition as the card. My family usually has a stack of other people's letters on a coffee table in the living that we read as they are received and again as we might want to. Cards are posted on the wall as well. With the invention of photo cards, we usually have a fridge covered in beautiful family photos.
I love to reflect on traditions this time of year because it is one of the few seasons people still focus on traditions. My mother and her mother and probably mothers before that have always made mince pies. I do not own a mince pie tin, but I have adapted my recipe to muffin tins. The danger in making mince pies in muffin tins is that they are much bigger than my mom's cute little mince pies. One can get away with eating a couple of mom's, but we should probably stick to one pie each. Sadly I only make my own pastry for these sweet treats as my mom is the one who makes the mince meat each year. Her mince meat does not have actual meat in it. It is dried fruit soaked in sugar and brandy, but again I have yet to make it myself. I need to get her recipe so I can pass the tradition down of course. My pastry recipe is simple:
2 1/2 cups of flour
1 tbsp sugar
cut 1/2 cup of butter into until you have crumble like texture
add one egg and them mix in just enough water to make a smooth dough a few tbsps
My mom's mince meat is also great for making a batch of Stollen as a lot of the ingredients are there. I just add blanched almonds to the fruit. We have had Stollen for about the past three years because a bakery in town makes some amazing Stollen and I wanted to figure out how to bake it myself. I am not sure if I will make this every year, but it is a fun find.
During the Christmas season we try and make gingerbread cookies and sugar cookies at least once. This year we did not make cut outs, but there is still time. The kids are just thrilled when I get the red and green sprinkles out. Our sugar cookies this year had a hint of peppermint extract in them, something I have thought might be gross, but actually ended up tasting great. Just skip the vanilla and add peppermint instead. The house smells like Christmas as they bake and they taste like a cake-like candy cane.
With little kids it is easy to try to hard to create experiences that only make one tired. It is good to pair things down a bit and figure out what activities best suit your family. We all like to bake, but I want my little kids to be a part of it too.
My family made a big deal about the Christmas dinner and my husband remembers fancy Christmas breakfasts. We combine them all to make a lot of family time at the table together. We start with eggs, salsa, gingerbread men biscuits, and usually some fruit. Then the rib roast goes in the oven and the side dishes change yearly based on who is around to eat them. Last year we made french macaroons for after dinner, but I am not sure if I feel like working that hard this year. I had help from my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law piped them all perfectly. I have consider brownies cut out like Christmas trees, or maybe some other kind of mini cakes. That could be fun actually. We will have to wait and see. I should have this planned by now, but I do not. There are still a couple of days.
I guess you could say we focus on food and meals because gifts in our house are usually homemade. The kids often find them while I am making them. There are some surprises of course and we all enjoy homemade hats, pjs, sock, dresses, and all. I like making gifts for the kids because we can add a personal touch to everything. Just about everything on the tree was made by the kids as well. Then I know nothing will break on them and everything is fun a playful looking.
Now what does this have to do with a Christmas letter? It doesn't. I guess part two of my post will be the actual Christmas letter, hopefully written before Christmas.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Emotions Block Writing
This has been the most challenging year of my life so far. Losing my dad nine months ago has left me feeling bruised with sorrow. I wish there was an easy way to deal with grief, but so I have been told and as I am experiencing, there is no way to rush the process.
I look at Isaiah's blue grey eyes and I think God gave me my second blue eyed baby boy for this time to help me feel like I still have a part of my father with me. Today marks the day that I have allowed myself to look at all of his clothing. My husband and my dad could share clothes, so Tim inherited any clothing he wanted to keep. We were so sad when we cleaned out his closet, Tim took everything. As I opened boxes of sweaters and jackets it is as if he never left. Everything still smells like his laundry soap. Each garment is so familiar.
The trails in Port Ludlow have been my place to remember my dad. He never got to walk on any of them with me, but I know he would have loved them. They are easy enough for the kids and this time of year there mushrooms are everywhere. My dad was great at identifying mushrooms. We always knew which ones would be safe to eat.
Bird sounds fill the deep dark forests around me and I can imagine him telling the kids and I what sound belongs to different kinds of birds. God if he could have stuck around longer he could have taught us so much more.
Dominic has just reached an age where he wants to learn about the plants, mushrooms, animals, and everything related to nature. I think about how much my dad would have loved hiking with him. All my kids still feel sad. He was a close relative to them, a space in their lives sits waiting to understand why he had to die.
Death happens to all of us. My kids have learned a lot about that this year as we have also lost Tim's great grandmother and his grandfather (his mom's dad). I have never had a year of loss like this.
The other day my mom sat with my whole family at a table and mention how she wished her mother could have met all my children. It is something I did not think much of as a child and now I think about things like this every day.
So I have not been able to write. I don't want to write angry posts, sad posts, or the same thing over and over, but I do want to keep people updated. This holiday season is cloaked in fog. Last year we had a large Christmas feast, now our table has a few less seats. Our Christmas tree cutting will not be the same. My kids have been asking about the Christmas tree since my dad passed away.
For a while I just wanted the holiday season to be over because it is so painful, but as the air gets crisp, I start to feel some joy bubbling up in me. It is still a season to love and give even if one is sad. Life will never be the same, but it will be new and different. Dad I still miss you like crazy and wish you were here to enjoy all the new moments in life.
As my heart still aches, there may be less inspiring posts, but I hope that sharing my grief may reach out to others who miss someone.
I look at Isaiah's blue grey eyes and I think God gave me my second blue eyed baby boy for this time to help me feel like I still have a part of my father with me. Today marks the day that I have allowed myself to look at all of his clothing. My husband and my dad could share clothes, so Tim inherited any clothing he wanted to keep. We were so sad when we cleaned out his closet, Tim took everything. As I opened boxes of sweaters and jackets it is as if he never left. Everything still smells like his laundry soap. Each garment is so familiar.
The trails in Port Ludlow have been my place to remember my dad. He never got to walk on any of them with me, but I know he would have loved them. They are easy enough for the kids and this time of year there mushrooms are everywhere. My dad was great at identifying mushrooms. We always knew which ones would be safe to eat.
Bird sounds fill the deep dark forests around me and I can imagine him telling the kids and I what sound belongs to different kinds of birds. God if he could have stuck around longer he could have taught us so much more.
Dominic has just reached an age where he wants to learn about the plants, mushrooms, animals, and everything related to nature. I think about how much my dad would have loved hiking with him. All my kids still feel sad. He was a close relative to them, a space in their lives sits waiting to understand why he had to die.
Death happens to all of us. My kids have learned a lot about that this year as we have also lost Tim's great grandmother and his grandfather (his mom's dad). I have never had a year of loss like this.
The other day my mom sat with my whole family at a table and mention how she wished her mother could have met all my children. It is something I did not think much of as a child and now I think about things like this every day.
So I have not been able to write. I don't want to write angry posts, sad posts, or the same thing over and over, but I do want to keep people updated. This holiday season is cloaked in fog. Last year we had a large Christmas feast, now our table has a few less seats. Our Christmas tree cutting will not be the same. My kids have been asking about the Christmas tree since my dad passed away.
For a while I just wanted the holiday season to be over because it is so painful, but as the air gets crisp, I start to feel some joy bubbling up in me. It is still a season to love and give even if one is sad. Life will never be the same, but it will be new and different. Dad I still miss you like crazy and wish you were here to enjoy all the new moments in life.
As my heart still aches, there may be less inspiring posts, but I hope that sharing my grief may reach out to others who miss someone.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Scattered Projects=Scattered World
I used to have an card on my desk that said, "There are no good days or bad days, only days of grace." When I was in high school this is phrase kept me from getting too stressed out over papers and projects. Now this phrase means so much more. Juggling life is making sure there is food, a roof, money, time for the family ...the list is endless. Becoming an adult is so much more than I thought it would be.
There are traces of childhood that still float through me. I love sitting down an making something. When I was little I made lots of clothing for my dolls, now I make stuff for my home and the kids. The projects in my living room include a braided basket made of two old twin sheets, some mats, a braided rug, several RubyRumps cloth diapers, a wool diaper cover, and a baby gift for a friend who already had her baby over a month ago. My goals are running away with me, but usually I am better at finishing one project before starting another.
This is so symbolic of my life. I find myself running in circles through many tasks. Cooking ruts happen even with things like pinterest for new ideas. We eat different variations of the same things, but the other day I remembered it has been over a year since I may Indian food. For the kids it was a whole educational experience as I explained the food and how when I was in Bangladesh I got to eat with my hands. They all got a kick out of this.
So as my husband always asks, "What are you babbling about?" I am no sure what I am babbling about. I think my main point in the babble is to try in make sense of a direction when life starts to get jumbled as mine clearly has. I want a goal. Part of me insists it be beyond starting a business, cooking and cleaning, attempting to be super mommy, or even making sure I get my body back someday from the wear and tear of SIX babies!
Focus has not been my strong suit. I picked a liberal arts college so I would not have to limit myself and pick one thing. Is it even natural to define oneself by one thing? In my opinion it is not. So here is where I am at in finding a life goal. I want to be a stay at home mom, I may still want to home school my children, and I miss writing.
Since my dad died I keep thinking the one thing I wanted to accomplish in his lifetime was to publish my book, so my goal is to go back to my manuscript, edit, rewrite, and hope and pray someone else wants to read and publish my work.
YES, I have six kids, a lot to do, endless other things I could be doing, but if there are days of grace, then there will be many in the future as I go back to working on my book.
There are traces of childhood that still float through me. I love sitting down an making something. When I was little I made lots of clothing for my dolls, now I make stuff for my home and the kids. The projects in my living room include a braided basket made of two old twin sheets, some mats, a braided rug, several RubyRumps cloth diapers, a wool diaper cover, and a baby gift for a friend who already had her baby over a month ago. My goals are running away with me, but usually I am better at finishing one project before starting another.
This is so symbolic of my life. I find myself running in circles through many tasks. Cooking ruts happen even with things like pinterest for new ideas. We eat different variations of the same things, but the other day I remembered it has been over a year since I may Indian food. For the kids it was a whole educational experience as I explained the food and how when I was in Bangladesh I got to eat with my hands. They all got a kick out of this.
So as my husband always asks, "What are you babbling about?" I am no sure what I am babbling about. I think my main point in the babble is to try in make sense of a direction when life starts to get jumbled as mine clearly has. I want a goal. Part of me insists it be beyond starting a business, cooking and cleaning, attempting to be super mommy, or even making sure I get my body back someday from the wear and tear of SIX babies!
Focus has not been my strong suit. I picked a liberal arts college so I would not have to limit myself and pick one thing. Is it even natural to define oneself by one thing? In my opinion it is not. So here is where I am at in finding a life goal. I want to be a stay at home mom, I may still want to home school my children, and I miss writing.
Since my dad died I keep thinking the one thing I wanted to accomplish in his lifetime was to publish my book, so my goal is to go back to my manuscript, edit, rewrite, and hope and pray someone else wants to read and publish my work.
YES, I have six kids, a lot to do, endless other things I could be doing, but if there are days of grace, then there will be many in the future as I go back to working on my book.
Friday, August 23, 2013
Memories, Keeping in Touch
Did you ever just wake up and feel like all of a sudden your friends of years have just slipped through the cracks? Sure we look at photos on Facebook, and send quick one line Happy Birthdays. Everyone is busy. I can find something to do every second of the day at this point and no that does not include glancing at a smart phone every five minutes. I am sure I would stare at that phone if I had one. I check my email around 2-3 times a day along with Facebook.
I think the more I delete junk mail and look at people's posts, I am still in touch with the world outside my house. I can have a day where I know what so many people are up to without having to put much energy in the friendships. Don't mind me for complaining. I love Facebook for keeping up with people who live far away, for relatives and friends in other countries. What I don't like is the fact that I used to take the time to remember birthdays and actually call people...I still call a short list. Most of my emails where actually letters, not advertisements. I never used to think that a coupon in my inbox was all that exciting, but now it is the better coupon email that I open instead of REAL emails. You have to write emails to get them...I tell myself. So I have decided to try and write more emails. Maybe my news is lame to me, but it could be quite interesting to people I barely speak to.
Am I going through some kind of 30 something crisis? Am I just a bored mom of 6? How can you put bored and mom of 6 in the same sentence? I am slowly seeing the world turn inward and forget about actual people, relationships, friendships. I am thankful I am married and not trying to date in such a cold world. Yes, there are old connections and friends of friends, but this is a day in the life of me...the phone almost never rings and when it does it is my mom, husband, or one of three friends who call me still and I call them. I get up, workout and take care of the family, it really is a full-time job. The house is never perfect at this point and laundry day is everyday. Cooking takes a few hours a meal if you include clean up. I get an hour or two to sew diapers, curl up on the couch and watch a show, or maybe eat lunch in quiet. Then the kids are up from nap. It is time to get dinner on the table, keep the kids from fighting nonstop, and bedtime takes a few hours. We are strict about sleep so I get a few hours with just my husband every evening too. And then it is the next day.
I don't know who my neighbors are really. I met one couple on my street and we have lived in our house seven months now. We are a bit out of place being a young family, but still. Summer hit and all the weekly meeting groups disappear, minus my woman's group that I really enjoy. (Often the only time I leave the house that whole week other than to grocery shop). I used to plan more...playdates and trips to the park, but with six kids leaving the house is work. It takes 30 minutes to get everyone ready and in the care. 4 of my kids need help with everything!
Even all that being said, I can still find time in the day to write this blog, stay in touch with people, have a five minute chat. I would still like to live in a world where those things matter and count. Feeling isolated seems to be part of motherhood, but has it gotten harder now that a glance at a page counts as staying in touch? I am interested to know what people think. Drop me a comment if you want.
I think the more I delete junk mail and look at people's posts, I am still in touch with the world outside my house. I can have a day where I know what so many people are up to without having to put much energy in the friendships. Don't mind me for complaining. I love Facebook for keeping up with people who live far away, for relatives and friends in other countries. What I don't like is the fact that I used to take the time to remember birthdays and actually call people...I still call a short list. Most of my emails where actually letters, not advertisements. I never used to think that a coupon in my inbox was all that exciting, but now it is the better coupon email that I open instead of REAL emails. You have to write emails to get them...I tell myself. So I have decided to try and write more emails. Maybe my news is lame to me, but it could be quite interesting to people I barely speak to.
Am I going through some kind of 30 something crisis? Am I just a bored mom of 6? How can you put bored and mom of 6 in the same sentence? I am slowly seeing the world turn inward and forget about actual people, relationships, friendships. I am thankful I am married and not trying to date in such a cold world. Yes, there are old connections and friends of friends, but this is a day in the life of me...the phone almost never rings and when it does it is my mom, husband, or one of three friends who call me still and I call them. I get up, workout and take care of the family, it really is a full-time job. The house is never perfect at this point and laundry day is everyday. Cooking takes a few hours a meal if you include clean up. I get an hour or two to sew diapers, curl up on the couch and watch a show, or maybe eat lunch in quiet. Then the kids are up from nap. It is time to get dinner on the table, keep the kids from fighting nonstop, and bedtime takes a few hours. We are strict about sleep so I get a few hours with just my husband every evening too. And then it is the next day.
I don't know who my neighbors are really. I met one couple on my street and we have lived in our house seven months now. We are a bit out of place being a young family, but still. Summer hit and all the weekly meeting groups disappear, minus my woman's group that I really enjoy. (Often the only time I leave the house that whole week other than to grocery shop). I used to plan more...playdates and trips to the park, but with six kids leaving the house is work. It takes 30 minutes to get everyone ready and in the care. 4 of my kids need help with everything!
Even all that being said, I can still find time in the day to write this blog, stay in touch with people, have a five minute chat. I would still like to live in a world where those things matter and count. Feeling isolated seems to be part of motherhood, but has it gotten harder now that a glance at a page counts as staying in touch? I am interested to know what people think. Drop me a comment if you want.
Friday, August 2, 2013
Back to Blogging
For anyone who has been following my blog, one might have noticed I have not written in a few months. With a death, a birth, and six kids to take care of my writing time has taken a back seat. I am hoping this will not continue to be the case. Miracle of today is that my 6 kids are all napping! Yes at the same time and YES my older kids too. We all nap in this house or we all end up cranky! I know I could give up. Most almost 8 year old children do not nap. Maybe I will tomorrow or the next day..the secret, my 8 year old loves his sleep.
So this with be a catch up post. Missing my dad is still a daily part of life. I cry most days over seeing a bird he would have identified for me, or driving past a place I used to go with him. I associate living in Port Townsend with my dad and it feels strange to live here without him. Both my parents love living here, but my dad had everything he loved right here...mountains, ocean, birds, closer to Asia...the list goes on. I feel like I have been left behind in a world that is beautiful, but not my own. As I look out the window at some beautiful trees, I think, yes it is nice here, but...is there somewhere out there that fits me as well as Port Townsend fit my dad? Most people don't get to figure that out until retirement, so we will wait and see.
The kids are adjusting to new baby well. Bria is the only one who is kind of missing her right to being the baby. Everyone loves the baby regardless. It is mommy and daddy at fault, not Isaiah. Joel is working a lot on math and reading this summer. I am trying to help him and we both get frustrated. He is starting to improve and I think a lot of our problems have nothing to do with what he does and does not know. Joel likes to learn when he feels like it. Ellie is the opposite. She is reading every book in sight and bossing around all the other kids. Dominic has hit the age where I am still looking for the sweet quiet boy. He has been replaced by a much more frustrated version of himself. Charis thinks her new bed is a jungle gym ...like at the park. Around 10 PM most night she had fallen out of bed. Bria will not eat anything red right now...sad with all the great raspberries, watermelon, and strawberries around. Isaiah is done with crying all the time and very interested in the world around him. Lots of sweet smiles these days.
RubyRumps is growing a bit. I am adding a one size cloth diaper option to the mix as well as putting my diapers in Sequim, WA at The Dungeness Kid's Company. We will start with just size N at the shop, but I can custom make other sizes. All the diapers will be AIO. If you want something else, check in with me on Etsy or Facebook. Also, I make swim diapers on request. Some friends of ours were nice enough to test these for me. I rarely go swimming with babies. :)
Tim is working at home, in Port Townsend, in Sequim/ PA, Seattle, and California. He is wearing several hats as daddy, teacher, loan officer, and much more. I do not know how he got through the last couple of months when everything was so crazy. New babies are a lot of work and add 5 other kids and lets just say we are busy all the time!
Hope to have some more thoughts soon.
So this with be a catch up post. Missing my dad is still a daily part of life. I cry most days over seeing a bird he would have identified for me, or driving past a place I used to go with him. I associate living in Port Townsend with my dad and it feels strange to live here without him. Both my parents love living here, but my dad had everything he loved right here...mountains, ocean, birds, closer to Asia...the list goes on. I feel like I have been left behind in a world that is beautiful, but not my own. As I look out the window at some beautiful trees, I think, yes it is nice here, but...is there somewhere out there that fits me as well as Port Townsend fit my dad? Most people don't get to figure that out until retirement, so we will wait and see.
The kids are adjusting to new baby well. Bria is the only one who is kind of missing her right to being the baby. Everyone loves the baby regardless. It is mommy and daddy at fault, not Isaiah. Joel is working a lot on math and reading this summer. I am trying to help him and we both get frustrated. He is starting to improve and I think a lot of our problems have nothing to do with what he does and does not know. Joel likes to learn when he feels like it. Ellie is the opposite. She is reading every book in sight and bossing around all the other kids. Dominic has hit the age where I am still looking for the sweet quiet boy. He has been replaced by a much more frustrated version of himself. Charis thinks her new bed is a jungle gym ...like at the park. Around 10 PM most night she had fallen out of bed. Bria will not eat anything red right now...sad with all the great raspberries, watermelon, and strawberries around. Isaiah is done with crying all the time and very interested in the world around him. Lots of sweet smiles these days.
RubyRumps is growing a bit. I am adding a one size cloth diaper option to the mix as well as putting my diapers in Sequim, WA at The Dungeness Kid's Company. We will start with just size N at the shop, but I can custom make other sizes. All the diapers will be AIO. If you want something else, check in with me on Etsy or Facebook. Also, I make swim diapers on request. Some friends of ours were nice enough to test these for me. I rarely go swimming with babies. :)
Tim is working at home, in Port Townsend, in Sequim/ PA, Seattle, and California. He is wearing several hats as daddy, teacher, loan officer, and much more. I do not know how he got through the last couple of months when everything was so crazy. New babies are a lot of work and add 5 other kids and lets just say we are busy all the time!
Hope to have some more thoughts soon.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Bear Claws
I used 1 1/2 cups of almond flour
2 TBSP water
1 egg white
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1/4 cup sugar
2 TBSP melted butter
This filling also makes yummy flour free cookies.
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