As I think back, one question from just about every interview I went to, from college to possible jobs, sits in my mind. Where do you see yourself in ten years? When I was in high school I would have said I will be an English teacher or maybe I will just teach first grade. I really thought the only kind of career I would find interesting would be to teach. After all it was what I saw modeled to me day after day. My dad worked at a big company with some kind of impressive title, but I still to this day have very little idea as to what he did. Most of my friends fathers had similar jobs. The fact that I really did not understand what was out there for me did not really bother me when I entered college.
Where did I see myself ten years out of college? On the mission field of course. My faith was stronger than ever and I really wanted to give back to the country I was born, Bangladesh. I would learn my native language and take care of unwanted babies. Somehow, I would be able to make a difference. This dream was not completely far fetched, as my brother is doing this very thing today. I never made it past a three week mission trip in Bangladesh. When I realized how this dream would be easier if I was a man or if I was white, I slowly let go of this.
I was a French major, so maybe teaching English in France would be great. My heart skips beats when I hear people speaking French. I fell in love with the language a long time ago. Study abroad was a lot of fun in France during my junior year of college. I spent time with a great family and I actually learned to speak French for real...what I learned in school barely got me to the train station. There was even a teaching internship where I got to work at the same school as my host mother. This was quite the experience. Some of my classes had great respect for me and others did not. I worked with ages twelve to sixteen. My favorite age to work with was twelve. They were interested in where I was from and hearing me speak English. If I ended up teaching English, this would be an age group I would be interested in working with.
My last dream as I entered my senior year of college was to become a marriage and family counselor. I was always told this would be a great job for me. People felt comfortable coming to me with all of their problems, but none of them knew that I was dropping my psychology minor and my grades in the subject were poor. I was not really a scientific psychology thinker. I loved my class in social psychology, but that was it. Training rats and treating people as subjects was not for me. Even looking a Christian schools left me feeling like this dream was not for me. Could I really detach from people's situations in the end?
Halfway through my last year of college, the man I had been friends with, and fallen in love with asked me to marry him. He had one more year of college to go, but we wanted to get married sooner. If anyone had asked me if I thought I would graduate college and get married, I might have thought it was not completely crazy, but it was not on my main list of things to accomplish. I was not the type to ignore changes in my plans. Improvise was fine since I would not consider myself a ducks in a row kind of person.
Now here I am, just over ten years out of high school. I have been married for seven years and three months. I have been pregnant and or nursing for most of that time. My five children take up most of my life. I never made it to a valuable career where I can write an impressive article in my college alumni magazine. What I am doing to most of my peers may seem insane. Why would I waste my expensive college degree on motherhood? My answer at this point is it I am not wasting my degree. I have had lots of time to think about what is important to me and what I am actually passionate about. Having children now does not mean my degree is a waste. Life experience makes a better everything (doctor, lawyer, actor, writer, counselor...) ...so maybe when I am ready to become something the rest of society finds acceptable, I will be the best (fill in the blank) I can be at that career.
For now, I am going to raise my kids to the best of my ability. Somebody with a liberal arts degree is never passive in any decision. Follow me as I explore the household, liberal arts style.
