Lost Words

I did something stupid, and I knew better! Yesterday, I mysteriously lost 150 pages of my book. This was something people warned me about, and it wasn't that I never backed up my work. My basic back my work up plan was why I still have 100 pages left.

My excuses included the fact that I am a busy mom who didn't have a space to plug in an external hard drive, or email myself all my work. It's true that I write it small chunks of time. On a good day I have an hour to write, but most of this time would not be without something taking me away from my work.

Hitting save was never a problem, but I cannot understand why my document looks like I haven't hit that button for over a month. It seems to have forgotten that even when the phone rang, and the computer was safely in sight, I still hit save.

The saddest part about this whole lesson was not that I lost my work. I lost a version of myself that I cannot seem to get back while rewriting what I lost. I tell myself that is fine, and this book will be better because I spent so much time writing out my thoughts and arranging my ideas. I often bring up a blank page on the computer when I feel stuck anyway.

It wasn't as if I felt like the almost completed draft was perfect, it was just almost done. I could have examined it for holes and colored in the the bland parts. Now I'm left with all the same fragments I began with.

Will my thoughts be different this month? Could I find a better way to arrange each section? Is it actually bad that I cannot remember certain parts? Readers would probably forget them if I cannot even remember what I was trying to say.

All things considered, I still think losing a manuscript is not a good idea. I went to cook dinner tonight and forgot to turn on the stove. I feel as if I got a really bad haircut and if I could just go back to before the appointment, it would look different. I want to be calm, and willing to work on my manuscript, but I feel like it cheated on me. I feel like it went to find a secret home. I feel like it was teasing me every moment I couldn't wait to get to my computer to write it.

Goodbye old version of my book. I will probably forget a lot of you. Until the new version.

11 Years With Tim!

I have been married to this awesome, sexy, adorable, intelligent (you get the idea) guy for 11 years! They have been the best years so far, but I know we will be able to top this because every day with this guy feels like normal life.

My cousin Joe once told me to marry the guy you cannot live without. I would add, pick the guy who naturally feels a part of your world. Side note: this doesn't mean you won't fight or have difficult times, it just means pick the one person who is worth going through everything with.

This is what makes up normal life:

1. He puts up with the fact you need to press snooze several times as part of waking up.

2. He had to give up a favorite food like peanut butter so you wouldn't have allergic reactions.

3. After several years, you finally realized that compromising on something to watch wasn't really what happened. He liked watching a lot of things and picked movies and shows based on your joint interests. So we weren't watching Center Stage, but he loved watching you laugh while watching Gilmore Girls.

4. He encouraged you to go to grad school even if it meant he had all six kids on his own for 10 days.

5. You get to have cute clothing and a nice haircut first. He says," I benefit if she looks hot" if anyone questions how we spend our money.

6. You would pick cuddling on the couch every night over anything else.

7. He woke up the inner introvert you needed, but ignored.

8. The first baby diapers of the day were usually changed by dad.

9. You still feel like it is the first day you met every time you look at him.

10. You don't need to compare your relationship to anyone else because it is yours!

This list is too long for a blog post. Here is glimpse into our amazing 11 years. I love you Tim Ruybalid!