Isaiah's Birth

me at 37 weeks and them my 7 lbs 12 oz baby born at 39 weeks

Even as a sixth time mom, there is still so much more to learn about birth.  I have never felt like I knew exactly when labor began.  Every child has kept me guessing with lots of strong Braxton Hicks contractions and start and stop labors.  Once things get going they go quickly, but the last couple of weeks before birth can be seriously frustrating for me.

This time I had to be humbled as I was sure labor would take off on a Thursday morning, but I did not end up having my baby until a just over a week later on a Friday night.  It is hard to see everything prepared in my home for a birth that did not happen right away, but I am so glad it did not.  By the time little Isaiah was ready to enter the world I had gone through a week of learning to relax, and so when I really was in active labor, I went through the simplest birth so far.

My Doula suggested I look into HypnoBirthing to try and relax.  Then my midwife also recommended a pregnancy massage.  This third trimester was hard on me.  Missing my dad was making me sad about having a baby he would not meet.  I wanted to see my baby, but I was distracted.  It was time to try and catch up on full baby focused bonding.

My mom and I went shopping for the new little guy.  I have not looked a newborn baby clothing much since baby number one.  We have a lot of stuff, but it was nice to get some new things that could replace some super worn out sleepers and such.  I still did not know what I was having so everything we bought was grey.  I guess grey is the new baby neutral color?  I could not find much in yellow and green.

Then I sat down and read about HypnoBirthing nonstop and listened to a cd everyday.  This was great for crashing into my afternoon naps.  I felt really relaxed and got a break from everything.  I also went in for my pregnancy massage that worked super well with everything else.  A week went by and I was a much more peaceful pregnant me.  I have never been so at peace leading into a birth.  My baby and I were finally bonding more and I was ready to meet him.

Birth day was like most days the past two weeks had brought me.  Lots of contractions all morning.  For me the test would be if they would continue into the afternoon.  My husband was working from home and allowing me to have a restful day.  I was taking a nap when things picked up.  With the HypnoBirthing I was able to relax a lot through the early contractions.  I was still not sure everything would continue so I waited.  About and hour later I decided that things were picking up and let my Doula and Midwife know that later I would probably be calling them.  My kids were napping and we wanted to stay in our normal schedule for as long as possible.  Then things picked up more and around the end of nap time we got the kids out of the house.  Super husband arranged and took care of everything.

As I was recovering from the chaos of kids getting ready to leave, my Midwife showed up and things could really get started.  I have a custom birth pattern.  If I really believed what the textbooks said I would never believe I was actually in labor.  I have contractions in a pattern for earlier labor and then it seems like everything has stopped except for the fact that when I have the odd contraction it is insanely more painful, for a long time, even if there is something like thirty minutes between contractions.  The contractions speed up, slow down, and end up all over the place.  I even feel like nothing much is happening until all of a sudden my body wants to push and in a matter of minutes I am holding a baby!  Birth is mysterious this way.  How does to body know what to do so perfectly?  We miss out when drugs are introduced because the pain is not really that bad if we let ourselves relax and let go of fear (I am still learning about this too).

During this birth I kept thinking the next contraction is going to be that one I feel all the pressure in my back and it will hurt so much.  Then I told myself to relax into it and it hurt, but never as much as I thought it would.  The last contraction I had before I was pushing felt like I still had hours to go.  It took us all by surprise as my husband called the Midwife into the room and baby was out three minutes later.

God I am so thankful that birth does not have to be torture.  I am thankful it is so beautiful.  This time I feel empowered in a way I never have before.  This birthing experience made no sense, but so much sense at the same time.  Instincts are stronger than one gives them credit.

I know that part of the reason this birth was so much easier than the rest is because of all the preparation I put into the pregnancy in general.  Pregnancy and birth do not just passively happen, one can actually take steps to a healthy result.  I would say that working out using Lindsey Brin's prenatal workouts made me a strong version of me.  I had no back pain this pregnancy after having a lot in the past.  This lack of back pain translated into no back pain during contractions at all.  I had much less pain during labor because of this.  It was amazing.  After having a baby I still felt strong.  I could get in and out of bed without any pain and I still feel great.  This does not mean I don't have to rest and recover, but it does mean I can more around with less effort than I have ever experienced in the past.  I feel better than I did after my first baby!

Birth requires both physical and mental strength.  Everything seems to end up connected during labor and birth.  I broke out in tears in the middle of my labor because I was thinking about my dad and our many great trips to Seattle with him.  I thought about the emptiness I was still struggling with and how much I wanted him to be here and a part of everything.  Once I cried for a bit, my labor moved along very quickly.

I cannot say any part of my pregnancy this time has been a breeze emotionally, but I will say I got through it by the grace of God and staying healthy.  I am so thankful for my Husband, Midwife, and Doula who have really helped me through this difficult stage in my life.

Birth and Humility

There are so many things that are tempting to speed up.  One can microwave food and speed up a birth with drugs.  We have cars, trains, and planes to get places quickly.  It is not a surprise that trying to patient is a bit frustrating in a world where one hardly ever has to wait for anything.

I have given birth five times and I am waiting on baby number six.  Not one birth story is identical to the others.  Why am I expecting this birth to be any different.  My latest experience with birth is having active labor set in and then stop.  I felt like I got half way through to pushing out  a baby and then nothing.  My body is tired, like I went through the whole thing...it did take several hours before all the contractions slowed to a rapid halt. 

Emotions are crazy during this.  I have found myself begging God to make this birth end and asking for clarity as to why my body is not letting me have the baby.  Sometimes we just need a break.  I am tired, so I need to view this time as a great time to rest.  I was not thrilled with how some things went yesterday, so now I get a second try and I get to explain what was not going well for me. 

Then there is grief.  Yet another event is happening and my dad is still dead.  There is no light way to say it...he will not be here to meet new baby and it stinks!  Why couldn't he have waited a bit longer?  I know, death is not a choice, but it is hard to think it would have only been a couple more months.  My greatest memory of the last birth is my dad rushing to pick up all the kids as I am delivering Bria.  I keep thinking I will here his voice in the house when I have this one and it is so painful to think I won't.

Having babies is a complicated process.  Did you know you could stop your own labor with emotions?  We forget that start and stop labor is common.  I have heard all these stories about it and a lot of the time there is an emotional reason as to why the labor will not progress.  Sometimes the body needs a break.  Maybe baby needs need to move into a better position. 

I think in my case it is all.  When I feel rushed, I feel like my labor slows down.  I also think grief is playing a role in the way my birth this time is playing out.  Then the baby's head is down, but sometimes I am still feeling it hit one side.

Now it is time to relax and enjoy the fact that I get a break for contractions for now.  I get to sleep without pain every few minutes.  Best of all, no one is waking me up in the middle of the night yet. 

My baby will come at the right time.  I am saying this mostly for me.  It is a humbling experience to remember that each birth is a mystery.  One does not know when it will happen and how it will be.   All I know is it will be a blessing to see what happens next.