Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Me: Reflecting on my 20's

It will not be long before June 22, so I would like to take some time this month and maybe in early June to think about all the joys of being a woman in my 20's. 

I remember being in my second year of college and thinking that living in apartment, away from dorm life could be so exciting.  My mind created elegant dinner parties and lots of great conversations with friends.  In reality, many meals were pasta with tomato sauce as I dashed to an evening class.  Our apartment was really nice, for a first place and we did have dinners there a few times. 

Most people probably saw me as extremely idealistic, and I still am.  I would spend hours praying, sometimes until three in the morning.  I loved my social life more than academics.  By social life, I really enjoyed being surrounded by people all the time.  It was an extroverts dream world.  I think I have been trying to recreate the college community ever since and I have failed miserably.  College made up some of the greatest years of my life.

Tim, my best friend and loving husband began chapter two of my twenties.  I waited most of college to finally be Tim's girlfriend, as he did not plan to date until he found the one.  What a blessing he decided I was her.  I remember when Tim and I were finally married and all I could think about was how I could not picture any of my life without him in it.  We have been on many adventures, but the highlight is having five children.

It was not until around child number three that I actually felt like it was socially acceptable for me to walk around in public pregnant.  The pressure to become something great before having children used to weigh on my a lot more.  Looking back, having children made me become a better person, thus making me more focused on anything new I might want to learn. 

I have felt thirty for years now because I love being a wife and mother and I would rather have a routine, instead of being free to do what ever I want.  For awhile I felt like I had to prove something to the world, I still struggle with this, but what is wrong with being able to serve the people around me.  Every year I am a stay at home mom I learn new skills.  It is the education of life that never stops.  This year I have learned to sew.  I had not used a sewing machine since middle school, but as it turns out, I love making things!

Maybe I have not put together a real outfit since college.  Perhaps some might say I missed out on travel, a great career, and much more.  When I watch my children play or learn a new skill, I remember how it important new life is and how blessed I am to be a part of it all. 

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