This is the first time in my life I have not been all consumed with getting ready for baby. I feel good about knowing I organized the baby clothing before we moved and I have the newborn cloth diapers in the house now, but really this is very calm for me. I do start to want to get some of this stuff ready in the middle of the night, but I am tired enough to let that go. Am I a ticking clock ready for birth or not at this point?
My belly is nice and low. It is a sad sight to see me in public at this point. Some stomach is hanging out of my clothing. I cannot button my winter jacket. My pants are always falling of my hips and the bump pushes them down and I almost cried yesterday when I realized that the coffee drive through that had my kids favorite cookies was not taking credit cards and I did not have cash. Why did I cry? I was wearing sweats that barely stay on and my shirt was way too short and I had to walk into a store like this. Just a week ago the same lady working is the store had asked me if I was due like tomorrow. Now I am getting closer the 36 weeks, that makes sense. I usually have my babies early and I tend to run out of room faster than the perfect super model pregnant woman who is closer to 6 ft. tall instead of 4'11.
I had a dream the other night that a friend of mine got a quick shot and then she was holding her baby five seconds later. I got mad at her for using drugs and she got mad at me because her baby was fine. So I was not giving birth and here was this woman who gave birth in five seconds. My body must be trying to tell me something, right? One starts to have birth dreams closer to birthing time. I know I do.
All I know is that I feel ready for the baby and then I think, how bad would it be to wait four more weeks? My clothing may not fit much longer, most of it doesn't. The belly just gets bigger and bigger at this point. Emotions are less under control. Um...maybe 37 or 38 weeks would not be bad. We'll just have to wait and see.
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